So, dear reader, I realize that a post about eccentric actor Joaquin Phoenix has, at best, a tenuous connection to the world of Guitarbalooga, but don’t forget: he was nominated for an Oscar for playing a guy who played a guitar sometimes when he sang…

Anyway, there has been much speculation as of late as to whether Joaquin has really chosen to give up his acting career to become a hip-hop artist.

My take? He hasn’t. He is, as I write this, in the midst of the greatest role he’s ever played. The world has become his stage. Like Andy Kaufman’s “inter-gender” wrestling career and questionable beatdown on a 1982 David Letterman Show (clue) at the hands of wrestler Jerry “The King” Lawler, Joaquin has chosen to partake in a brilliant and grand piece of performance art at our collective expense.

What evidence do I have to support this?

First, if it’s not true, Joaquin must be suffering from either serious mental illness or drug addiction. The trouble is, when someone becomes a drug addict or goes ’round the bend, like say, Britney Spears, Robert Downey Jr., Corey Haim, Todd Bridges, Nick Nolte, or…well, you get the idea, they quickly get in over their heads and wind up in jail or in the hospital. But, more importantly, in every case, we see proof of their suffering when their gaunt images are splashed all over the TV and in tabloids, strapped to a gurney, for example, or wearing an orange jumpsuit in court, or even on reality TV. None of this has happened yet to Joaquin, and I don’t think it ever will, unless it’s staged. He looks pretty good, nasty beard notwithstanding.

Second, Casey Affleck is coincidentally shooting a “documentary” about the actor’s transition to a hip-hop career. Hmm. Wouldn’t a funny idea for a ground-breaking mockumentary be if a white, Academy-Award-winning actor decided to chuck it all and become a hip-hop star? Wouldn’t it be even funnier if things went terribly wrong along the way? And, what if it was played as real as possible to ramp up the hype and speculation?  I’d go see that in a hot second. My guess is that someone’s betting a lot of other people would too.

In the immortal words of Marty DiBergi Casey Affleck:

I wanted to capture the… the sights, the sounds… the smells of a hard-working rock band Joaquin Phoenix, on the road. And I got that. But I got more. A lot more. But hey, enough of my yakkin’. Whaddaya say? Let’s boogie!